Overcoming Perfectionism in Pregnancy and Postpartum: A Guide
Are you a mom-to-be or new mother struggling with the pressure to be perfect? You're not alone. Perfectionism during pregnancy and postpartum is more common than you might think, affecting countless women on their journey to motherhood. In this post, we'll explore the impact of perfectionism and share strategies to help you embrace the beautiful imperfections of pregnancy and early motherhood.
The Prevalence of Perfectionism in Pregnancy and Postpartum
Studies show that perfectionism is widespread among pregnant women and new mothers. Approximately 80% of pregnant women report concerns about pregnancy and delivery, often fueled by perfectionistic tendencies. The fear of childbirth, which is frequently associated with perfectionism, affects between 6% to 15% of women in countries like the USA, Canada, and Australia. Some research even suggests this prevalence could be as high as 43% in certain cultures. So basically, perfectionism is a common experience for most individuals going through matrescence!
Understanding the Impact of Perfectionism
Perfectionism can significantly affect your mental health and overall well-being during pregnancy and postpartum. Here's how:
Unrealistic Standards: Perfectionism often leads to setting impossibly high standards for yourself, creating a constant sense of falling short.
Increased Anxiety and Depression: The relentless pursuit of perfection is known to be a major risk factor for postpartum depression and anxiety.
Difficulty Seeking Help: Perfectionists may view asking for help as a sign of failure, making it challenging to seek necessary support during this crucial time.
Amplified Challenges: The uncertainties and new experiences of pregnancy and early motherhood can exacerbate perfectionist tendencies, making this period particularly challenging.
Strategies to Combat Perfectionism
Inspired by the wisdom of renowned researcher Brené Brown, here are 4 powerful strategies to help you overcome perfectionism:
Embrace Imperfection: Acknowledge that imperfection is a natural and inevitable part of life, especially during pregnancy and motherhood. This mindset shift can significantly reduce anxiety and foster a more authentic self.
Shift Focus: Move away from seeking external validation and focus on internal motivation. Recognize your worth beyond achievements and performance, particularly in your role as a mother.
Cultivate Vulnerability: Don't be afraid to share your struggles and imperfections. This openness can lead to deeper connections with others and create a supportive network during your motherhood journey.
Challenge Shame: There is an important link between perfectionism and shame. Work on addressing and reframing the narratives that fuel feelings of inadequacy.
Find Your Values: Figuring out what your values are and acting on those values daily can bring you a great sense of worth and fulfillment.
Practical Tips for Expectant and New Mothers
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Remember that you're doing your best in a new and challenging role.
Set Realistic Expectations: Adjust your expectations to align with the realities of pregnancy and new motherhood. It's okay if things don't go exactly as planned.
Focus on "Good Enough": Instead of aiming for perfection, strive for "good enough." This approach is not only more achievable but also healthier for both you and your baby.
Seek Support: Don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it. Remember, seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Connect with Other Moms: Share your experiences with other expectant or new mothers. You'll likely find that many share similar feelings and challenges. Try one of Bloom’s new mom groups!
As you navigate the beautiful yet challenging journey of matrescence, remember that perfection is unattainable, but "good enough" is achievable and healthy. Every mother's matrescence journey is unique, and embracing your own path – imperfections and all – is the key to a more intentional and meaningful experience.
If you find yourself struggling with perfectionism during pregnancy or postpartum, don't hesitate to reach out to Dr. Hila Sachs at Bloom. She can provide personalized strategies to help you overcome perfectionism and thrive in your new role as a mother.
Embrace your journey, celebrate your efforts, and remember – you're doing amazing!